At last; it’s here! I’ve been waiting for this a long time.
George Pappas has republished his book Monogamy Sucks. Those of you who follow
George on Twitter will be familiar with the hows, and whys…the stories behind
the story. The expurgated version of Monogamy Sucks was originally published by
Lazy Day Publishing…expurgated, because publishers are uneasy with explicit
erotica, their delicate sensibilities are easily shaken and offended. George
made the requested edits; it didn’t sit easily with him, but, like all writers,
he wanted to see his book published. But then Blushing Books took over from
Lazy Day and Blushing Books were horrified; they could not have such perverted filth
besmirching their pristine, creamy white catalogue. Having been gravely
offended by the mere mention of Sex, let alone Swinging, Blushing Books gave
George back the rights to his books.
Contrary to what you may be thinking, George was absolutely
delighted. With the Independent market growing, he has taken that road, and the
unexpurgated version of Monogamy Sucks is now available. It is fresh, it has
vitality, verity too, it is uncompromising, as is the author; the unexpurgated
version is as the author, George Pappas intended.
This new edition of Monogamy Sucks is as provocative, if not
more so, than the expurgated version. If you are completely new to George
Pappas’ ideas and humour, then you are in for a real treat. The story is told
in diary form, by George’s protagonist, Jake; one entry after another exposes
explicitly the life that Jake wants. “Guilt free sex…is that too much to ask
for?” Apparently, it is. He condemns an established way of life with a
visionary’s zeal. His zeal, his absolute intent, is to subvert the natural
order. The narrative is driven by Jake’s diary entries; they are provocative
and, therefore, dangerous. I’m all for subverting the natural order, I’m always
provocative and I love a little slice of danger; so as I say, I was curious. I
read on.
Jake Dalmas is bitter and angry.
So, as I say, my curiosity is piqued; I am allured and yes, I am intrigued as
to where Jake is going with this.
So I immersed myself in the book
that is the subject of George Pappas’ very frequent, wonderfully lyrical
tweets.
And George Pappas knows how to
turn a girl’s head with carefully crafted words; I’ve read his poetry, quite a
lot of it. So I knew that I was going to be allured; dazzled, with an elegant
display of exquisite prose. But I wasn’t expecting to be amused and entertained
to the point of laughing out loud.
“October 11
My ad has been in the Express for
a week now and there has been absolutely no response. It’s depressing. I am
starting to have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Still, a part of me is
also somewhat relieved. I really don’t know what I am going to do when someone
calls. I am at war with my hormones. My need for pussy without strings is in
conflict with my fear of rejection and my basically timid nature. I become
extremely nervous when calling a woman I have met for a date. Yet this is
different. This is a woman who I will be calling for sex. I will have to seduce
her on the phone, and I am not sure if I really know what to say. I have
overwhelming doubts that I can go through with this.”
The humour is gentle, poignant,
tender even. I sense Jake’s desperation; his vulnerability is engaging and I
like him. I want to listen to him.
I can’t think of any other writer
with such an acute sense of the absurd than George Pappas. And what is more
absurd than sex and the strange roads we travel to get it? The need for sex
drives us when we’re not getting it.
Then there is the need for even more sex when
we are getting it which drives us even more. We turn into ravenous, slobbering
creatures hoping that any innocent liaison will turn into rampant sex.
It is almost as if we’ve never
really progressed beyond the insecurities of adolescence. And George Pappas’
character, Jake Dalmas is hopelessly insecure; he has a shyness around women,
especially attractive women that ensures he never really progresses beyond
flirtatious eye contact.
And it is not only comedy where
George Pappas excels. His erotica tips over into the pornographic. He’s an edgy
writer playing the reader with uncertainty. Where the hell is he going next?
But back to Jake and his quest;
does he really have the qualities of a revolutionary?
He is certainly driven. His diary
entries catalogue his utter rejection of conventional relationships; he’s been
there so many times that he knows that after a few months he will become
emotionally claustrophobic; he knows that he will be suffocated to the point of
his psyche being damaged if he can’t find a way out.
That is an absolute
guarantee.
And it is at this
point, the point of Jake’s rejection of conventionality, that we join his
journey; his quest. Not for another suffocating relationship; Jake wants a
world where casual sex is the norm. Where men and women fuck for the sheer joy
of fucking, then move on quickly to the next casual fuck. Jake knows he has
mountains to climb and his first task is to indoctrinate women into the joys of
casual sex.
A world of absolute,
guilt free sex.
Jake Dalmas is a
wannabe Swinger.
He yearns to meet
women who will understand his ethos of casual sex; women who know how to
celebrate fucking with the exuberant spirit that is so essential to him.
Sex is permanently on Jake’s
mind. Yes, he’s a wannabe Swinger, but he’s insecure and vulnerable. He has the
sort of erectile dysfunction that men dread and few would admit to. Jake can’t
always get it up. His penis lets him down in the worst possible way and often
at the crucial moment…Jake’s erection fades to a flopping flapping flaccid
embarrassment.
Pathos. Jake’s failure to
copulate is made funny, but the scenes awaken our emotions to the vulnerability
of the male.
Jake cuts a lonesome
figure in the pages of his diary and like all revolutionaries taking an extreme
position, he is isolated. But Jake doesn’t hold back; everything, absolutely
everything goes into his diary entries, from the raging erection that wakes him
in the morning, to the dark despair of sating a demanding, throbbing erection
every evening.
But having made his stand for this brave new world of
fucking, Jake is faced with the problems of all political extremists; he has to
embrace subterfuge to be in with the in crowd. And this is an in crowd he
yearns for. He’s not yet one of them, but if he appears like one of them
they’ll think he’s one of them. He feels like an imposter; he is an imposter.
He has yet to prove himself worthy. How does Jake become a Swinger?
He runs an Ad in the Express magazine. When he
meets no response he replies to Ads and is dismayed to discover that the Ads
are placed by call girls.
“I want the person I fuck to WANT to be there. I don’t want
our sex together to be her fucking job, as most of us hate our jobs. Why should
it be any different for call girls?”
He has blind sex dates. After such a date with Vivian he
learns the mysteries of female ejaculation; he is still depressed.
November 14
“When Vivian arrived at my apartment, I felt like sending
her home. I’m not into granny sex…What the hell was she doing here? I didn’t
want to fuck my grandmother...Vivian began panting, wheezing and moaning almost
immediately. I was hoping I wouldn’t give her a heart attack or something and
she would die in my apartment. It would be just my luck.”
And here is more of the laughter I talked about. Vivian can
squirt.
“Vivian was a human geyser squirting everywhere…My mouth and
face was covered in her love juice…she ejaculated several more times as I
continued to play with her pussy. I have to admit I was in awe of her…”
Jake nearly goes bankrupt in his addiction to phone sex
lines. Phone sex isn’t his thing, but he has phone sex with Nellie; Nellie
cums; she wants Jake to cum too. Nellie talks dirty; “Cum for me baby…”
“So I would pretend to cum just to get her off the phone.
Except for one recent morning when she called me right before I had to go to
work. I woke up really horny and came all over my hand thinking about her pussy
that was probably old and rank, but I didn’t think of that at the time.”
Jake’s phone sex cum is cold and lonesome; almost a
pointless afterthought.
He misses; “the chemistry the eye contact and physical
presence of another person. I want real sex and phone sex is a poor
substitute.”
Jake meets Pam, a nurse. Jake has always had a thing for
nurses; he and Pam have great sex, but Jake breaks an unspoken rule. He never
does find out what it is, but Pam distances herself and doesn’t return his
calls.
“Frankly, Swinging is still a fantasy lifestyle for me. It
might as well be happening on another planet. I am still a Swinger in training,
but meeting a woman like Pam gives me a lot of hope that someday soon I will
fulfil my fantasies.”
Jake is heading for overwhelming disappointment. But he is stoical.
He embraces his mantra and has more sex with more women he finds dull and
unattractive. Women who don’t seem to have any knowledge of personal hygiene.
This, combined with Jake’s premature ejaculation, post-cum depression and the
much needed erection utterly out of control and misbehaving; well, it is hardly
surprising that Jake develops anxiety about his performance leading to more
depression.
Sex at work. A gang bang at work. Jake discovers Viagra; he
can fuck all night like the stud he wants to be. Jake is a worthy Swinger.
And now I’m going to stop writing about the book. Spoilers
annoy me. I’ve read so many reviews of great books where the ending is given
away. For me, it upsets the experience of reading. And you won’t see the ending
coming I promise you.
So let’s get serious for a moment. Our ideas about monogamy
go back centuries and are linked to ideas around inheritance and integrity.
“Til death do us part” goes the sacred vow in the marriage ceremony. But just
supposing you married your partner when you were 16 and both of you lived until
you were 96 that would be 80 years of not only living with, but having sex with
that same person. I’ve no doubt it has been achieved, but I think that’s a
helluva big ask.
All those centuries ago we didn’t have the luxury of living
a long life. In the 16th century Bess of Hardwick married and buried
4 husbands. Bess really did live by her marriage vows, staying on with each
husband until they were separated by death. Then she’d move on. Perhaps Bess
was a 16th century Swinger.
Maybe we’re just not cut out for those long drawn out relationships.
Maybe divorce is a 21st century social necessity.
There are examples in literature too. Will Shakespeare’s
Falstaff was most certainly a Swinger drinking and fucking his way around merry
England. And in the 14th century Geoffrey Chaucer writes of the Wife
of Bath, who was first married at the tender age of 12 and has since married
and buried 5 husbands.
I think that “Monogamy Sucks” is a courageous book. George
Pappas has created a hero with radical ideas. He is way ahead of his time. The
mainstream does not like ‘radical’. It is protective about the ideologies that
have propped it up for centuries. The mainstream does not like its frailties
and vulnerabilities exposed. George Pappas tells me he is hoping that the
mainstream will catch up with him one day.
“Monogamy Sucks” can be read on two different levels. As a
piece of erotic sugar that dissolves on the tongue like sweet cotton candy.
(Candy floss if you’re in the UK) Or it can be read as a vibrant and
alternative way of living.
There’s a fork in the road up ahead. One nicely tarmacked
track will keep you on the straight and narrow. That’s the safe road. The road
that leads to monogamy. Or you could take the rocky track, littered with
treacherous potholes. It’s a scary track, but there’s stuff going on there that
could lead to something exquisite; something that will change your life
forever.
Jake's adventures
will return in the sequel RELATIONSHIPS SUCK in early 2017....I cannot wait!
Monogamy Sucks is
available at Amazon US and Amazon UK. George Pappas can be found at Twitter
@GPWriter
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