I thought I would throw this open to you guys. It's a delicate subject -- I have a lot of ideas, but...
"I am so young. I feel terrible sometimes for enjoying the kind of stuff that I do. I have never had sex.
But when I jack off I experiment with things that hurt me. I cut myself. I punch myself in the face. I was so excited when I raised a bruise for the first time. Blood makes my breath go shallow. I’m not even of legal age to have sex yet.
It’s confusing me how much I want “adult” stuff that is ostensibly considered even more “adult” to the point that sure, teens can have sex! Just no kink because that’s what perverted people do. According to the people in my life.
And now I feel like I’m a bit of a top as well, and the sadistic impulses I’m getting are driving me slightly nuts.
FROM The Male Submission Art website.
This is something I've found very enlightening in the past and part of what makes me believe top/bottom is a fixed sexual orientation like gay/straight.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone I had to experiment and explore, but in retrospect it's very clear from my earliest memories that I was attracted to females and that I was the active player, not the receiver.
A small incident. An elementary classmate contacted me for the first time since we were children regarding a reunion. She remembered me as the boy who held her down and forced her to kiss him; I am utterly certain it never happened and a friend of mine pointed out that the fact I could inspire such fantasies said a lot about my classmates sexuality and how she responded to mine even though we were only seven or eight. (She married a cop)
I can certainly recall my own erotic, very masochistic fantasies, from age 8, maybe even younger.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why they are so little talked about?
Tell me more....
DeleteEheheh
Both my girls are suburban moms and lay low due to societal pressure. As I do myself, trust me a lot of my neighbors would have a problem with a scoutmaster and pta officer bringing up BDSM in an adult context and sharing with kids would, and even I think should be off limits